Ode to a Fallen Officer

Since the below mentioned officer supposedly did exist, I decided to give him a proper obituary. ENJOY!

Officer G. (name withheld due to pending criminal litigation) was born sometime in 1983. He was the third child in his family. He was born after an older sister and older brother. His father was a mental health worker in the federal prison system and his mother was a school teacher.

He was a jock in high school. He played tennis, ran track, and played basketball. He was a jock with girls around him most of the time. He had a nice car, stable home, and loving parents. He was deviant though. Smoking, sex with random girls, and frequent fights with his parents occurred frequently.

By the time he graduated, however, he had straightened out. He went to the local community college and then transferred to the local four year university. Had both an associates and bachelor's in criminal justice. He joined the police department (or applied) the day he turned 20.

He shot his first criminal suspect to death while he was still a rookie. This was the first of four individuals he allegedly took out (I could never find a record of these claims). He had been shot, stabbed, and knocked out. He was knocked out by a cell phone. He also claimed he was bitten by a police dog.

He loved women, sometimes bringing home three a week. He was a "sleaze." He did this because he was insecure and figured women would leave him.

He had a girlfriend he met at 7-11 while on a larceny call.She was a manager at the store. She practically lived with him but they fought and he didn't want anything else to do with her. He was scared to break up with her because he might not ever find anyone else.

He liked dogs, football, and baseball (all things, I somehow, also liked). He had a female partner named "Stacie" and they patrolled the area where he grew up.

His life was great until he decided to leave his girlfriend and teenage mistress. He tried to get with someone who already had a police officer. And thus came the untimely demise of Officer G.

WOW...I just wrote this to show what a fuckhead this guy really was :)! Enjoy...

Fake Ass Police Officer

So a few weeks ago I met this guy, when I was out with other cops, who claimed that he was a police officer. He fooled me and he fooled them. According to him, he worked midnights at one of the other precincts. He had been a police officer for about five years and was 25 going on 26. All of this fit logically.

He knew all about their policies, procedures, and infrastructure. He was just a good fraud. Such a good fraud that even law enforcement did not catch it until later on. Looking on back on things though, there were some minor red flags. Nothing though that would warrant looking twice. These things including scheduling and having a partner in the car (this doesn't tend to happen).

The kicker in all of this was that this fool claimed to know a deceased police detective. He seriously called me one night, crying, talking about how he was upset because it has been a year. He told me about the night the detective died how they all sat around the precinct and cried. He also talked about how he was there when his wife came to clean out his belongings from his desk area. I mean why would someone lie about that? I actually believed it.

There was another component to this, however. He apparently wanted a relationship with me as well. The phone calls started, the daily emailing, the sending me 1000 different text messages. He told me about his alleged girlfriend, a manager at 7-11 (whom he met during a petty theft call), and how she wouldn't break up with him. He was trying hard but I didn't bite. I just kept telling him we could be friends.

Well the end came yesterday. He was arrested for impersonating a law enforcement officer. I got a phone call that I needed to go down to the police precinct to tell what happened with me. It was kind of surreal. I just told them he told me he was a cop and the situation with the police detective. He was so good he even fooled some of the members of the police department.

Apparently the guy got found out because he had some 19 year old he was screwing/dating and dropped her once he tried to pick it up with me. She got suspicious and found him out. Good for her :)!

WOW. Random weekend. I still have my police officer and a misdemeanor docket this morning. Take care everyone :)!

The Month of August

I hate the month of August. I've hated it since I was a kid. Random dumb ass stuff always happens in this month. I mean I have had relationships end, my ex boyfriend used to act like an ass, I've lost jobs, I've had accidents, I've had school registration issues, I've had financial issues, had trouble with jobs I've applied for, etc. etc.

This month alone I have been cut by flying glass, had to yell at a badge bunny, sent in a transcript request and form for law school and it STILL has not arrived, got sucked into police drama, had computer issues, dealt with various emotional crises, applied for a job with the local prosecutor and not heard anything, had my car insurance rate go up for some random reason, got knocked on my credit score for some unknown reason, deal with the lying clerk of some judge, and the first time I went to type this, it randomly disappeared!

I think all of this stems back to the fact that I lost my aunt when I was a teenager in August. She just sat down to read a book, closed her eyes, and had a massive stroke. No one could have helped her. I got a phone call in the middle of night that she was gone. That was it.

The thing I remember about her most is her ability to paint. She was just naturally talented. She had a great laugh and a beautiful smile. She was only 46 when she died.

I'm beginning to think that my negative attitude of this month is what attracts such bad things to happen. I think that I just want this month to be like any other, just a good month.

I've lost both of my aunts now on my mom's side. My mom is the only one left. I love both of them and will carry them both with me forever. I just want to remove this negativity and go on.

Thanks for reading!

It's Just Worth Posting

I had a police officer that I'm close to email this to me a few hours ago. It's hilarious:

And then, maybe 25 minutes later, a local gas station employee calls 911 to report a petty theft. In his own stupitidy, he decides to run after the thief and try to stop him. NO! YOU DON'T DO THAT. HE MIGHT BE A FUCKING JUNKIE, which he turned out to be. Anyway, the gas station employee flags us down and we let him in the car, ask him to tell us where the thief went and he showed us and gave us a description. By that time, the gas station employee is crying like a 5 year old girl because the guy apparently gave him a very bad look. He came with us to the station and we called his mom, who then yelled at me for not comforting her "little boy" when he started crying. Is that my job?

LOL!

Restitution

The concept behind restitution is that criminal defendants who have been found guilty of an offense compensate the victims of their crimes for any losses they might have incurred as a result of that crime. These payments can be monetary compensation for injuries, medical expenses, loss of property, insurance co-payments, etc. You often have to make these payments or face being dragged back into court for further punishment. Not making these payments is a violation of a court order and thus is another criminal issue. This explanation sets the groundwork for our next set of cases.

I had a felony docket Monday that was full of people who had issues paying restitution. These people were getting dragged back into court by the prosecutor for failure to pay. These payments are monitored by the prosecutors to ensure defendants compliance.

Defendant 1-Never paid any restitution since January of 2007. Had already been locked up for failure to pay. Ended up getting yelled at by the judge for not paying. Got another felony charge and owed restitution for that as well. The judge put him back on a payment plan and gave him jail time for contempt of court. Saddest part of this was the guy could not keep up because he kept getting more charges, getting incarcerated, and ended up owing more restitution.

Defendant 2-Owed money for restitution for a burglary/breaking and entering case. Was in court on another larceny charge. Told the judge he made so much money but yet had made minimal restitution payments. He told the judge his money went to his parents boat payment because "he was going to be a professional wake boarder." The judge yelled at him too. The parents caught the judge's wrath as well. They knew the kid owed restitution and were cool with him making boat payments, cell phone payments, etc. The defendant ended up getting a court date in 30 days to ensure he was making correct payments. Is there even a market for professional wake boarding?

Defendant 3-A young woman who had committed property damage to the point that it became a felony. She was behind in restitution payments and told the judge that no one in the area was hiring. The judge, once again, yelled at this defendant. The judge then put her under a court order to have a job, make restitution payments, and return to court in November to ensure all of that as done. If not, then jail time would be imposed. Ouch.

Word to the wise-If you are going to do the crime, make sure you can PAY the fines (or in this case, restitution)! :)

Random Dumbasses Part 7

Here are more random dumb asses from court:

-First nominee goes to a clerk of court. I hand you paperwork and you manage to lose it. Then you try to blame it on me. I'm sorry that you can't keep track of what is going on but don't try to blame it on me. And try laying off whatever the hell it is you are eating. I swear it looks like you've gained 30 lbs over the past six months.

-A random defense lawyer. The lawyer tries to get her client bail after he client was initially denied bail and let the time lapse when he could appeal the ruling. You should know the criminal process well enough that you shouldn't have even tried filing that motion.

-Another illegal Mexican immigrant. This fool decided to molest his step daughter and masturbate at the same time. His girlfriend called him and called 911. You're an illegal immigrant and a child molester. And you still tried to get bail. Now surprisingly you were DENIED. Prison then deportation for you.

-Another random juvenile. He was on a deferred finding for four misdemeanor charges. He then managed to be so badly behaved that his own lawyer told the judge that his behavior was abhorrent. He was convicted on all charges and given a 120 day detention stay. Enjoy your detention stay.

More random dumb asses to come shortly...

Let the Sunshine In!

So I'm stuck at work with the law enforcement academy drop out. I figured I should blog and at least right my thoughts down before I start telling how where he can go. He's not a bad guy he just annoys the crap out of me. It's the same thing everytime he comes in. Come into work, dick around with email, and take an hour to get started doing anything. It's not hard to understand why he never made it as a cop. It's not my place to judge but I can't stand the routine. Maybe in the end it's just me, I seriously need to get out of this place and into my own field. He's only been here for twenty minutes and he's whining about his housing situation. I hate that he acts like a lazy, whiny ass little bitch. Enough said on that topic :)!

So anyways I guess I should update everyone on the family situation. I'm honestly tired of being known as a the person who grew up in a dysfunctional and abusive family. It's old. I mean I've spent so much of my time just focusing on work and school that I haven't really had much of a life ever. It think I became an overachiever to compensate for the fact that my home life. I'm tired. I want to just live.

I'm also tired of pushing everyone who ever tries to get close to me away. I mean it's like an anxiety situation. I don't want them to go but at the same time I feel the need to push them away if I think they are getting too close.

In all honestly I am over it. I mean I'm just tired of feeling like that. I don't care anymore about dealing with that stuff. Where does it get me? No where. I mean I'm just tired.

I've seen normal relationships and families from the outside. I've never really thought about myself ever having one of those. Recently though something hasn't been sitting right with me. And in the end, that's what it was. I want normalacy and stabilitiy.

So I say goodbye to the dysfunction and hello to normality. At least in the end I know that what I went through will let me be a better advocate for crime victims and a better prosecutor.

More Misadventures with the Police Department (Part 2)

I'd like to know why I can't eat at Panera without getting having to deal with the lame ass antics of some police officer. I've managed to graduate from patrol officers to police sergeants. This honestly happened last week. I am not posting this to brag, it's just another misadventure in criminal justice world.

I went to Panera last Tuesday with a woman that I work with. We had pretty much had enough of dealing with lame ass customers and our adverse working conditions. We pulled up and you could tell from the inside that the place was packed. I walked up in through the main doors and just kind of said out loud "Do you think we should find a seat before we go and order?"

As soon as I said something, I hear this male voice say "You should sit here" or "Yes you should." At this point I saw there was an empty table, right by a police sergeant in FULL UNIFORM sitting at the table next to that one. I know he was a sergeant due to the markings on the sleeve of his uniform (I was a police intern). I just kind of smiled and laughed and walked off.

Yeah, too bad he was wearing a wedding ring. I mean come on. I just want to eat my lunch.

Random Dumbasses Part 6

Here is part six of our installment of random dumb asses from court:

-This young woman who was arrested on a capias for FTA and failure to comply with a court ordered anger management issues. Apparently this wasn't the first time the young woman had not appeared in court. The kicker was ding dong is like 20, on disability and already has one kid. She's also pregnant as well (due I believe in February). She's on disability for ADHD or some other random psychological thing and doesn't take medication for it. Who wants to bet her kids won't end up in the criminal justice system?

-Some random lawyer and his dumb ass clients. They took up at least a half of hour of the judge's time attempting to get the judge to break the state law so some juvenile could get his license. In my state if you are convicted of possession of marijuana or alcohol, you get an automatic 6 month suspension when you apply for your license. This kid thought he could just wait six months and then get a non-restricted license. No moron, what would be the point of that? This kid's lawyer went on forever about this. The judge was getting irritated by the end of it. I honestly could not blame her.

-Some random juvenile who was in court with his grandparents. All of the qualified as dumb asses. The kid has substance abuse and conduct disorder. He cursed at his grandparents in front of the judge. The grandfather in the case had no clue WTF was going on and refused to file charges against said juvenile after he assaulted him. The judge explicitly told him to do this if the kid kept acting him. The juvenile went to detention and the grandparents went home to revel in their stupidity.

-The kicker today was this 20 something year old pothead. He came into court on a sexual deviancy charge. Apparently he decided to get his freak on with his step-niece after giving her marijuana. This step-niece was like 15 and she had known this guy most of her life. He was incarcerated due to this. I mean give me a freaking break. This guy just needs to be neutered.

More random dumb asses soon I'm sure...

Venting

I just want to vent. I know it's late/early but I want to get this out. For the life of me I could not figure out what was wrong with me but I think I've finally figure it out.

I am honestly tired of sitting on the sidelines. I see all this crime going on and I can't even do anything about. Instead I have to spend my days in the crap hole that I've decided to keep working at. I can't get out there and do anything. I just really want to doing criminal justice everyday.

The thing is, my dead end public service job, is in a library. A fucking library. I have to deal with stupid ass staff, stupid ass customers with nothing else to do, and the psycho ex-wives of police officers. These dumb ass moronic customers come in to the library and worry about the stupidest shit you can imagine. Where their book is, what book do you recommendation, and other dumb ass shit that is so mundane it's not worth mentioning. I work with people who are happy to work this dead end ass job or decided to pursue degrees from at profit career schools because they are too easy to move on with life.

The kicker is my dumb ass boss. I came in from court and this moron decided to start questioning me about "Why I was so late." None of your fucking business. I didn't say anything nor am I going to give up the one thing that is helping me to be a federal prosecutor. You can kiss my ass and deal with the fuckers who come in late/call out every opportunity possible.

And then mid-week I have to listen to the above mentioned moron go on about me writing a fucking "d" on a form that didn't have a long enough loop. Yep, that's right ladies and gentleman. I dealt with a kid on Monday in court who had 22 felony convictions at 15 and this dumb ass wants to go on about that. I seriously almost laughed her face.

And the issue with my police officer-When I first met him or better yet when I said I'd like to get to know him, the only thing I heard from people I knew from within the department was that a)cops were bad b)cops would beat me and c)cops were cheaters and d)cops were bad. Seriously, that is like bigotry. I am sorry your ex-husband was a dick and that your husband got booted off of the police officer for committing sexual battery on a female detainee (I do like both of these people, really :) ).

Then there is psycho ex-wife who used to call her husband every 10 minutes when he was working. I heard about this chick REPEATEDLY when I was an intern. I just plead the fifth. She's random, that's for sure. I've caught her listening to phone conversations I was having and she's I guess "jealous" of whatever. Yeah chica, you can deal with these criminals too. It's not that fun.

Thank you for allowing me to vent. I'm down to less than a year now. I'm going to study for my LSAT this weekend and buckle down. I'm going to court on Monday and I'm going to keep preparing for my LSAT.